Thinking Positively

Since my last post some unexpected things have happened but I have also been blessed with some good stuff that came out of those things.  I'll try to explain...

My mom has been in and out of the hospital and various doctor's offices over the past 8 months or so.  She has chronic pain throughout the back of her head and has lost some hearing in her ear. She was diagnosed with TMJ Arthritis in her jaw which probably caused the teeth clinching stuff eventually bringing about some nerve damage thus the dizziness and pain, worse than a migraine, according to my mom. Since my dad passed away she has not been the same, and now she is having severe abdominal pains.  Doc thinks it could be brought on by a blood blister they found on her liver. However, they do not want to operate because any procedure could prove difficult, maybe even fatal. At this point, the risk is much greater than the pain she is having and there is no guarantee that the blood blister is causing the abdominal pains. The Gastronologist thinks the pains will eventually ease up, but could come back. He calls the pain episodic, which means she will never be rid of it.  After several tests, they still have not found anything else physically wrong with her.  I believe she is depressed since dad died which I feel is exasperating her symptoms to the point of ongoing, continued physical pain, maybe even a bit of mental stress which may continue to cause more and more ailments. 

Both my brother and I have been taking turns driving her around due to the continued head pain and dizziness. She is afraid to drive long distances, but I think this is for the better. When she started having these symptoms of dizziness and pain, she got into an accident, luckily it was only in the garage where she parks her car. She had hit a pole, she thinks, but didn't remember the incident, like as if she blacked out or something. She has good days and bad days but they can't treat anything if they don't know what is causing the rapid and chronic pain. She is taking Lyrica for her head but the doc thinks that if all this was due to nerves than the Lyrica would help the abdominal pains.

Worrying about my mom and my own recent personal trauma with breaking up, yet again with my ex, has certainly caused much stress and I suddenly found myself not paying as close attention to other things in my life like my job. I found out from my boss that I have violated the company's attendance policy and now I'm on probation for the next 6 months.  The policy states "no more than 4 occurrences or no more than 8 sick days, etc."  I only took 6 days, but that is still more than 4 occurrences.  The 8 sick days means you can't take that many in a row or they would consider that 4 occurrences. It's not one or the other I thought. The company pays you for using sick time but you are penalized for it. Thru a rolling 12 month calendar year, if you have more than 4 occurrences you get a verbal warning. I only have 2 days of vacation left so I had to cancel my trip to TN to visit some friends in order to save those days for an emergency. My brother was made aware of the situation so hopefully if anything comes up, he can take care of mom.  I can't afford to have anymore unexcused absences or I can seriously jeopardize my employment especially when you only get a week's vacation a year.

I have been considering quitting my job and moving out of state because of this.  I already have an open door policy with my dear friends in TN as well as some unexpected new friends I've been in contact with over the past year in NM, who have also offered assistance should I relocate.  I have 3 classes left for my BA and then I am free to take the necessary steps towards my future rather it be academically, personally or professionally. My car will be paid for in December which will give me a lot more disposable income that I can save should I decide to move.  This is all positive, but I have to get thru these next 6 months without incident. 

So what's a gal to do when it seems like so much drama and aggravation comes her way? Of course, getting laid would be perfect but it would only solve my problems temporarily. Ah, but what a nice distraction if I could find it.  I wish I could be that carefree and have a one night stand with a stranger, but in this world, health risks are far too strenuous to take a chance on a lustful evening, but... 

I digress...

I always try to look for the upside of every situation.  My boss is supportive and believes I will easily get thru my 6 month probation.  The company is utilizing a computer generated punch clock, so one of the good things that came out of the attendance problem was I finally got earlier hours, 8am to 4:30pm.  I have been wanting these hours for 3 years now.  We have enough people that can stay till 5pm so with having to leave early to make my classes, she opted to upgrade the punch clock system to the 8 to 430 hours. Without that, if I was to leave at 430, the system shows that I left 1/2 earlier than what I was supposed too.  We both felt that since I am under such close scrutiny, it was wise to create consistency with my time.  This coincides with payroll and the attendance policy.

Other than the attendance issue, my mid-term review was awesome.  I've been called upon to train a new biller in our department, and my boss has asked me to review other billers to ensure that the invoices that go out to the clients are accurate.  The company has internal auditors who review the billers monthly so having a quality control person in the interim should prove beneficial in the long run. I've taken to my new role well, as a biller myself, I was the right choice considering my accuracy has been at 99% cumulative for the whole year thus far.  I also review internal and external documentation that coincides with billing the premiums to the customers so this duality has made me invaluable to my boss which is probably why she is not worried about this attendance issue.  I'm glad because her confidence in me helps my stress level immensely, despite the unwelcome negativity.

Getting out earlier has already proved beneficial, as I was able to meet with a Director at National-Louis University for their M.S. in Written Communication Program. It is difficult trying to get together with academic advisors and such because they are usually done for the day before I even get home from work.  Recently, I have been exploring Graduate programs in the Chicago area and because I am thinking about relocating, I've also been looking at other state programs in Creative Writing or English. I had been so disappointed with what I did find locally due to inconvenience, no flexibility & impossible costs until I reviewed National-Louis University's Program thru their website.  After meeting with their Representative, if I decide to stay in Chicago, I will be attending National-Louis University in the Fall of 2010.

The Written Communication program at NLU is perfect for me. It combines a practical Master's Program which supports writing in a professional capacity, other options like improving your creative writing ability if you decide to freelance or become an author, and provides an additional opportunity if one decides to teach college Freshman composition once the M.S. is completed.  They have a National Magazine which is created by the students in the program, so I have a chance to get some editing experience and although extremely competitive, might get my writing published.  All these options are available with this Degree.  They also have a proficiency credit program that can assist in obtaining class credit for prior works or experiences that they feel would meet the course requirements. This option gives you credit rather than taking the class. For example, I have published articles in Nine-Tails, the Chicago Leather Club's newsletter and I have an article that was posted on-line to Leather Views. With these works, the proficiency option can be met for their Feature Writing Class and at a fraction of the normal costs. I would get 3 credit hours met but would not have to pay the full tuition for the class, this would benefit me financially. The college has a number of scholarships available and each summer, they also have writing workshops that can be used towards your degree.  Tuition is reasonable, less than Northwestern, DePaul, Roosevelt, and Columbia that have similar programs but is more than Northeastern, however, NEIU does not have a writing program that supports what I need. They have an English Master's Program with a Composition track which supports literature or based in literary criticism rather than improving your writing skills or preparing you for a professional job in writing fields such as advertising, marketing, communications, radio, education or public relations. Wahoo!  Not a bad program at all if I decide to stay in Chicago.  I can either take the classes in Skokie or Downtown, 8 blocks from where I work.  Classes are once a week from 6-8:55pm and the program can be completed in about 2-2 1/2 years.

So as I mentioned before, there is always an upside to hard times.  Hopefully I can navigate through the next 6 months, finish my BA, and then start thinking about what I will do next. Stay Tuned!

Peace.