Something I found in an Old Journal of Mine

Originally Written 7/11/15 -

To Be In Service to Me...

What would that look like? You asked.

My Dearest Scribe;

Depends on what type of service you are seeking. For example, if you want it to be simply sadist/masochist or if you want more sexual or sensual, or a little of both. I'd imagine you would want to set some limits and a timeframe for how long you want to explore this side of you.

I have the experience and the knowledge to keep you safe which I know is very important to you. Think of this as another side of our unique relationship allowing you the opportunity to explore a part of you, play a role or character where you remain in control, without fear of muddying the waters or to cause the other parts of our connection to fall a part.

We've had deep discussions of great length about sexuality and sensuality and how they are different; emotional connections and intimacy can be inter-changeable. We've already proven we are good communicators and have established a very strong bond. I know for me, in all my friendships and even my vanilla and/or alternative relationships, I've never felt so much joy and peace when we are together.

I must admit, I was so excited when you first took an interest in seeing my BDSM toys and being open-minded enough to talk about some of the uniqueness found in leather/power/symbiotic exchange, dominance, submission, passive/aggressive, etc. The nice thing about using toys is that it keeps a kind of emotional detachment from the other person when they are being handled. Everything is negotiated and hard limits will be respected, or can provide a challenge for personal exploration depending on how comfortable with one's nakedness is or being touched in certain places.

I know for you being vulnerable is risky, but in a play setting you are allowing your vulnerability some lattitude, and rather than being afraid of letting go, you are giving yourself permission within your control to allow someone to meet some need to be desired and wanted. The timeframe is like a comfort zone of when you start and end. I tell my playmates to imagine yourself as someone else and step out of your body as if your soul was rising above to look down at yourself enjoying the beauty of absolute pain and pleasure, and giving over some control to allow yourselt to experience things you may not have been able to before.

I feel like you've been numb due to all the trauma in your life, mentally, physically and emotionally, and that you have not been able to release that negativity into the universe. My hope is that with your readiness and willingness, you will allow for us to engage in a BDSM dynamic so that I may meet some of those needs that are not being met presently. For me, having an opportunity to allow a physical element to our emotional connection would bring balance and joy to my life and hopefully for you as well.

We can set a time limit on how long we can try this arrangement and see how it goes. I feel strongly that this new phase of exploration will enhance our connection but not destroy what is between us. My dear Scribe, half the battle is already won. This is just another piece we share that will be exclusively ours until you are ready to be in a more emotional/intimate relationship with someone else. For now, this could bring some sexual and sensual outlet without fear of losing what we currently enjoy. Please consider my proposal. Let's negotiate what you deem comfortable, and pursue your interest.

With much respect,

Daddy Squire

The Random Musings of Submission

I imagine myself on my knees in front of one who is worthy of my submission.  I am naked, head down, collared, wrists shackled, tightly bound. Ah, the joys of giving yourself over to absolute pleasure, while the music is playing in the background, an old school mix of jazz and funk, soulful and sensual as I await your next command.  I am bound to you by a force not yet defined. Our bodies connected in a way that so few can achieve as others in the midst are jealous of our connection enjoying this moment in time with a renewed exploration into areas unknown; of the moment where our fears give way to unmatched treasures of things we have not yet explored, finding our place within each other’s embrace. Two bodies, one soul, acknowledging a nuance unexpected; finding our way through trust, loyalty and a need to be together.  A physical need un-parallel by anything we have experienced before.  A connection rediscovered as time has no ending or beginning for us, it’s unwavering in its realization that we are meant to be as one. The ultimate expression of devotion I give myself to you, a need that must be quenched, a desire not explained as we move into the world of delight, an absolute confirmation of what has to happen in order to fulfill a deep need never experienced before in our lives as we take a step into the unknown, no fear of loss or rejection.  I exist solely for your pleasure.  I wish to give you all that life has taken from you and revitalize the sexuality you fear so much, bringing you closer to the sweet release necessary for your very survival.  I am a soldier in the battle of unseen barriers to be knocked down and erased to be rebilled into a beauty that can only be understood by us.  Your touch is electricity, fusing our energies, keeping you whole yet allowing you to let go without hesitation.  I will be your anchor that keeps you tethered to the land and doesn’t waver.  I am your salvation, the one that keeps you satisfied.  I want to get lost in your eyes and the ringlets of your hair that are endless, tangled in our web of desire.  Nipples already erect in anticipation, wanting, needing to be taken to please you.  I can sense the hunger in your eyes.  I can feel you accept all I have to offer.  The wetness between my legs unapologetic as the desire comes to its natural expression.  I am yours completely, mind, body and soul.

A Letter of Pursuasion

I am driven by lust, love, loyalty, and an honesty of a heart so true. Yes, I’m an exhibitionist, and you already know I’m a voyeur. You’ve recently discovered that I’m very sexual, and it’s obvious that I love leather, but did you know that a lady in lace drives me wild? We’ve had conversations that kept you fascinated, shared philosophies and fantasies that turned us both on, and yes, music and poetry are my passions, but a private dance for my lady, will get me wet and eager, oh so eager to please. Do you know I love surprises? Do you know what I’m thinking when I’m not there? Do you dream of a night filled with wonder and delight? Or imagine a love so deep, and so right?

An intensity that equally matches your own, with your inhibitions removed, I can take you on a journey of exploration, a place you've not been before. You have nothing to fear for I am confident and sure. Do you require references, testimonials, or proof of my expertise in matters not exactly the norm? Can you trust me, have I ever lied, do you need more time to consult the hidden feelings you have put aside? Let me be the one who releases your sexuality from its prison of morality. I can free all your limitations that keep preventing you from the boredom that has been locked deeply inside for far too long. I have a gift I want to bestow upon you, ready for the unwrapping. My beautiful dreamer, your eyes wide with wonder and apprehension, come explore the world of the different, for only in curiosity can you truly find your most vivid desires and only through me will your true potential be realized.

Why Pain and Pleasure?

Have you ever wanted to be stung by a whip, a bit of bite on your flesh that strangely comforts you and wraps you up as if it were a blanket? It may be hard to understand, but the desire for such pain, can be pleasure as well. Was it ever a desire to be flogged by a 10-inch flogger made of deerskin on your back, the feel of a deep massage that releases this energy that allows your sexual juices to drip endlessly down your thighs? Would you want to experience the joy of a symbiotic relationship where the more willing you are to give yourself over unselfishly, the more it can transform you mind, body and soul to be rewarded twenty-fold?

I have a story to tell you about a journey I am still embarking upon, one of pain and pleasure. I answered yes to the above questions, and once I admitted the need to be dominated and challenged physically and mentally, I began to feel…thoughts racing, heart pounding, adrenaline pumping, exquisite pain mixed with pleasure. Reluctantly and with some fear I gave myself permission to grant my own innermost desires to achieve a new understanding of what I would come to accept and later define as who I am.

Understanding this fascinating world of BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism,) was a labor of love. I chose it or rather it chose me, because it gave me clarity, a sense of belonging, a purpose, and a forum for my fantasies. It quickly satisfied a high need to please someone, and in return, I received many rewards, being wanted, desired, cared for, sexually aroused inside as well as outside, and I had finally found a safe environment for the pursuit of hedonistic delight. I was extremely turned on by the complexities of a kind of structured hierarchy of rules, its protocol, the visual language, an intriguing terminology, and the glorious and erotic experiences of exhibitionism and voyeurism.

An exchange of power takes place when you put your trust in another person. The intimacy is almost overwhelming, but you continue to allow that person to take you places you thought you would never go. Your body begins to perspire, and your endorphins take over as you begin to accept the intensity of the various levels of sensations, some filled with pain others with pleasure or sometimes both. Your breathing becomes somewhat labored but you endure and at times you may feel feint, but yet your mind tells you to continue and your adrenalin keeps you alert and aware of everything around you. Your senses quicken as you slumber into a deep sleep but you can hear sounds around you. The sounds comfort you and keep you grounded as your body begins to relax.

By alternating pain and pleasure you give into the feeling and magically the one dominating you becomes your savior. You wait patiently, of what will be done to you, when and for how long. In such anticipation, you whimper like a dog, that’s been left in the cold for too long, as you begin to grapple with this unnerving desire of wanting to be set free. You are not sure in what way, or what your boundaries are yet. You are on a learning curve, where each experience teaches you different things about yourself. There are no grades or tests, just the notion of pure ecstasy and an insatiable hunger that is never quenched, just occupied for one exquisite moment in time. Referred to as Scene Play, you become a player in an elaborate game of seduction and gratification. In that moment, you have chosen a role you wish to play, and there is no other greater pleasure than giving yourself over completely, relinquishing all control, allowing the other to transport you away to a place you have never been before. Ah, the joys of pain and pleasure.