Cougars and Cubs

Some of my dearest friends are dating ladies approximately 15 years younger than themselves and this seems to be a recent pattern I’ve noticed in the Chicago lesbian community. It’s not unusual when you hit a certain age that the pool for available ladies tends to be younger as most people are already spoken for, and the few that are still single are having a hard time finding the right person within their age group like myself. If you ask my friends, they are all well-aware of this reduction in potential partners, which is why they have suddenly taken an interest in what they consider cubs, and why they are encouraging me to do the same. I suppose I can look at this new development by trying to understand and identify what traits or characteristics that are considered cougar versus cub. However, this is not easily defined in my opinion as I think all women have a little bit of both in them.

I tend to love women who are settled in their home lives, interests or careers, know who they are and who I can learn from. But I can do without the inflexibility or rigidity that can sometimes come from women who are too set in their ways and not open to changing their perspectives, outlook, or how they are used to doing things. On a more personal note, I am very mature when it comes to the adult things that I should be responsible for and take care of in my everyday life, but my personality is more like that of a playful cub, wrestling with my peers at a picnic, shooting water pistols, collecting matchbox cars, or using crayons instead of markers for my coloring books. Does my interest in these things make me a cub, or is it that I find a more satisfying relationship with someone who is more mature than I, and who I feel can watch over, support, protect, and catch me if I should ever fall but not stop or discourage me from flying, because I still need to see life as one big roller coaster ride? Does this trait constitute that person as a cougar?

Could it be that the words ‘cougar’ and ‘cub’ have more to do with age difference rather than individual characteristics, traits, or personalities? Do we have to categorize everything? I’ve always believed that people are complimentary to one another, and that opposites do attract. I think we are always searching for something from someone that can’t be met by ourselves with the hope of creating some type of balance in our lives personally, sexually, socially, or spiritually. So I say to my friends who are the same age as me, kudos, for finding someone who makes you happy no matter how much younger they are than you, but I’ll keep searching for those cougars out there who wouldn’t mind a playful cub.