An Unexpected Gift
Monday, December 1, 2014 at 10:34AM It was a rare cool night in late August and Toni was packing for her trip to Indy to attend the Great Lakes Leather Alliance convention. She was flying solo this year and didn’t have a plan of action or any play partners set up, but past experiences have taught her to always be prepared like a good boy scout on a camping trip. This year may be her last as she had contemplated the possibility of taking a break and focusing on other interests she had put off while exploring the BDSM world. Recent experiences had left a fowl taste in her mouth and the fiery passion and drive that once fulfilled her needs for so many years had begun to diminish, she was at a crossroads.
Her excitement was building as she ran up the stairs to the storage locker on the second floor almost tripping over her feet as if she was a six year old with her shoes untied and laces torn to where the toy bag was. Most of her things would be in there except for the floggers which were hanging in the bedroom closet downstairs in her apartment so the strips of leather wouldn’t get tangled. She was looking forward to the change of pace, picking and choosing which floggers to bring versus what she was expected to by someone else. It had been awhile since she had ventured out to a leather event by herself. Despite the butterflies in her stomach, there would be other friends at the event to lessen the potential apprehension she was facing. Still, the familiar surge of adrenalin was growing despite all the recent bad experiences that had been playing out like a terrible movie.
“Cuffs, check, blindfold, leather straps, quick releases, extension links, furry paddles, steel paddles, fingerless gloves, check. Condoms, strap-on; now for the floggers, deerskin, buffalo, elk, chain, suede, check and check.” 
Admiring her collection of things, Toni heard a rap at the patio door in the front room. She was expecting her friend Anna who was dropping by to pick up Toni’s keys to watch her 4yr-old Retriever, Samson while she was in Indy. She’s known Anna for a couple years and in that short time they had grown close. It’s rare that Toni would share her love of BDSM with people who didn’t identify as such. But Anna was special; one of the few people Toni met who actually got the whole dominance and submission, pain and pleasure thing that happens when two people experience a type of symbiotic intensity of power-exchange. Toni has always been open to communication and education and Anna was full of questions regarding alternative lifestyles from an academic perspective, working on a thesis project examining the potential reasons why certain people might be drawn or pre-disposed to societal taboos, whether due to psychological wiring, necessity or purely by choice.
“Are you almost done packing?”
“Almost: just a few more things to go.”
“Looks like Samson raided your suitcase.”
“Samson, put down that flogger! It figures he would grab my favorite.”
“You have a favorite?”
“Well, they are all my favorites, but the deerskin one is the best, it’s made of soft leather that almost feels like suede. Luckily he only slobbered on the handle.”
“How many floggers do you have?”
“I have 5.”
“Why, so many?”
“Each flogger feels differently when used on the body. The idea is to mix the various types of sensations that bring about pain and pleasure eventually leading to what players, like myself, call an endorphin rush. The power-exchange is often referred to as Domme or sub space depending on if you are the sadist or the masochist. Everyone has a different threshold of pain tolerance and part of the sadist’s challenge is to watch the masochist’s body and gage his or her reactions, each step leading to the next towards an agreed upon goal that is negotiated by both players before the scene begins, thus the different floggers.”
“And by scene you mean the time when play begins and when it ends?”
“Yes. You’re a quick study.”
“I find it fascinating but in these past two years I’ve known you I don’t think you’ve ever showed me your toys.”
“Well, you never asked.”
“The last couple of times I’ve visited, it’s either been a football party or one of your famous poker games; not exactly the time for show and tell (Anna laughs).”
Toni had to pause for a second trying desperately to deny the thoughts racing through her mind. The two of them had been going through the motions for years. Intense e-mails back and forth, playing twenty questions as they both had a need to write and express their utmost thoughts, reasons and motivations of how each other felt about various concepts, perspectives and philosophies. To Toni, it was as if they had been dating, an ongoing mental foreplay but without ever touching each other. Their cerebral intimacy was unusual in a lesbian culture that can get caught up in the superficial trappings of sexuality without taking the time to get to know someone or fools remaining in bad relationships just to avoid loneliness.
Toni grabbed the flogger from the floor where Samson dropped it and walked towards the bedroom with Anna in tow. It was an unnerving feeling invading Toni’s conscious; what if their friendship changed, how would she handle it? It was always in the back of her mind that Anna might take the risk one day, but there was a certain comfort in the unknown, a kind of safe haven. Toni’s hidden desires were always kept in check but she would never close the door entirely. Despite her best efforts in burying that need, she was always cautious not to disrespect the boundaries Anna set in motion years ago. And as difficult as it was at times, they had a deep intimacy which was greater than any friendship Toni shared with others so she would do anything in her power not to jeopardize that.
Toni’s toy bag was a makeshift suitcase now splayed across the bed like a vendor showing her wares for the first time, a bit disorganized with some items inside and others on the bed. Toni caught a glimpse of Anna spying the leather cuffs, chuckling to herself in a most devious, instigating way watching Anna’s deep brown eyes brighten her hands grasping one ever so slowly like a kid sneaking cookies from grandma’s cookie jar.
“I’ve always loved cuffs, Toni reveals. Everyone reacts differently when they are worn. I have had some people freak out and panic, even hyperventilate because they feel trapped or out of control. Others experience a sense of belonging and when I’ve had them on it felt safe, knowing I had my partner’s undivided attention as if I belonged to her. It was a kind of heady feeling with no worries, no stress and being able to let go, allowing things to develop with a nervous anticipation of what would come next.”
With the knowledge Anna was just made privy to, she held up one of the cuffs and looked Toni dead in the eye. So piercing those eyes, they caught Toni off guard and instincts made her lower her own eyes to avoid staring back to acknowledge her submission. A familiar rush of excitement overtook Toni’s need to analyze what was about to happen. Without hesitation, she extended an arm towards Anna, hand palm up and without words Anna placed the cuff around Toni’s wrist, but not too tightly. Once secured, Toni lifted her other arm, slightly trembling but took a deep breath as Anna secured the other cuff, instantly calming her vulnerability as she waited further instruction from Anna.
Anna paused for a second then uprooted the rest of the items in the toy bag as if searching for a treasure. She found a thin, chain linked dog collar with a lock and key. Anna slowly backed away from the bed to find a spot in the room near the desk in the corner. Toni watched as Anna’s eyes beckoned, she pointed her right index finger towards the ground. Toni knew what that meant. But she was unnerved that Anna knew it too. Nonetheless, it did give Toni comfort that all their conversations about ‘scene’ set up did not fall on deaf ears. Toni walked over to Anna and kneeled in front of her. Anna turned the key to unlock the collar. She placed it around Toni’s neck, re-locked it then placed the key on the desk. Toni knew she could ‘safe word’ out of the situation, but she didn’t, curious to know what Anna had in mind and how far she was willing to take this.
As Toni waited on her knees, Anna pulled the leather chair from the desk and placed it next to Toni. Without words Toni sat in the chair, arms resting away from her body to give Anna full access. Anna nodded as if to approve and walked back over to the toy bag. She pulled out a soft, supple leather blindfold and held it up for Toni to see.
Toni shook her head left to right to let Anna know she did not want to wear it …”please a ma’am, um, how shall I address you?”
“You can address me as My Queen.”
Toni relaxed again as Anna put the blindfold back in the toy bag.
“Thank you My Queen.”
Anna ruffled through the makeshift suitcase once again but rather than selecting anything inside, she reached into the pocket of her jean shorts and held up a small silver knife. She opened the knife so that Toni could see the inch and half blade. Toni nodded in approval.
“Isn’t that the knife I gave you for your Birthday My Queen?”
“Yes, it is. We’ve had conversations about how much we both love knives and you had mentioned that knife play is one of your favorite types of scenes to do. Since I’m unfamiliar with the other tools in your toy bag but am with knives, I wanted you to feel safe with my choice.”
Toni started to giggle like a little boy, a sheepish grin as she looked up at Anna, wide eyed, but quickly remembered her place and diverted her glance away. Anna smiled and chuckled, “good boy squire, that is what you would like to be called, correct?” “Yes, My Queen.”
“I didn’t see anything in your toy bag to secure your cuffs to the arm of the chair, but I need you to stay still so I don’t accidently cut you. I think you call that honor bondage, right?” “Yes, My Queen.”
Toni was amazed by how much Anna understood the terminology associated with BDSM, the protocols and appropriate dialogue players utilize to communicate their wants, desires and needs. Toni paused to recall the many conversations over the years they had. Anna read most of Toni’s leather-driven erotic articles and stories, but still, Toni was pleasantly surprised at how confident and comfortable Anna was with handling the ‘scene’ as well as her. It was an unexpected gift she had been given, a chance unlike anything she would have imagined was possible with Anna. Still, she wondered what prompted the change of heart and even more so, did this mean their friendship was about to change? Toni ignored the distracting thoughts in her head. She was always quick to analyze everything, but in this moment she decided to embrace the nuance of Anna’s exploration. She would know soon enough if their deep, mental connection was foreplay towards developing a more physical and sexual relationship.
“Are you ready squire?”
“Yes, My Queen.”
Toni watched anxiously as Anna walked around the chair twice to admire Toni’s predicament; Anna’s always quipped about being a control freak, but I doubt this is what she had in mind. Then again, it could be exactly what she had in mind in order to break the ice and re-open the romantic door she had once closed years ago without fear of being rejected. She knew ‘play’ would be a safe opportunity for the both of them given Toni’s knowledge and experience in the BDSM environment and Anna’s interest in understanding it better.
Toni closed her eyes and took a deep breath as the cool, steel blade touched her right arm forcefully but without cutting the skin. The knife soon moving down from her shoulder to her wrist and up from her wrist to the shoulder of her left arm. It was a familiar sensation but somehow more intense than she experienced before in her years of exploration in the BDSM world. She was well aware of her deep attraction emotionally as well as physically to Anna. She trusted her implicitly. It wasn’t a surprise that her body would react quickly, heart pumping a little faster, sweat dripping down from her forehead and the wetness releasing between her legs. She was glad she was still fully clothed as to hide the slight embarrassment taking hold. They had never been this intimate and she wanted to savor the moment, but not give away her secrets so soon. Anna had extraordinary abilities to read people’s emotions and gage their reactions like second nature and Toni knew that. But for a brief second she could convince herself that this wasn’t one of those times.
Anna paused to admire her handy work as she ran her hand up and down Toni’s arms tracing the reddish marks the blade made. Anna’s touch felt like electricity, the sensation leading straight to Toni’s groin, a deep growl rising from the pit of her soul, like a wolf attempting to warn a rival pack invading her territory. But that didn’t stop Anna from exploiting the opportunity quickly running the blade under Toni’s shorts to reach her right thigh with a little more pressure, almost breaking the skin. With her free hand she brushed Toni’s left thigh with her fingers, the wetness coating them. Before continuing she placed a finger towards Toni’s mouth, forcing it in. Toni lapped up the juice; her secret could no longer be hidden. Anna then walked around the back of the chair and placed the tip of the blade against Toni’s throat, held it there steadily kissing her neck, then biting her earlobe roughly, letting out a growl of her own. Toni felt paralyzed, like a deer caught in the headlights of a car, trying to remain steadfast in her submission, curbing her other more dominant nature.
While still standing behind Toni, Anna wrapped one arm around her just beneath her breasts as if to keep her in place and then ran the knife across them, ensuring the tip would graze the nipples with such deliberate force that she could feel the blade penetrate through the cotton tank top she was wearing; each stroke increasing steadily, the pressure of the blade pushing like a needle into the flesh, as if a nurse was taking blood in a doctor’s office. To Toni’s delight, Anna whispered in her ear “take off your shirt.” Without hesitation, Toni removed her top. “And the bra too, squire.” “Yes, My Queen.” Toni could feel Anna move towards the front of the chair like a zephyr breeze on a warm, summer night, quickly bringing goose bumps to the surface of her now naked skin. Anna then laid the knife, blade still showing in Toni’s lap.
Anna leaned into Toni, resting her hands on the arms of the chair as if to steady herself and began sucking on Toni’s nipples. She then bit hard, careful not to rip the piercings out, the rings hitting her teeth, her own excitement building as Toni’s breathing labored desperately hoping the knife wouldn’t fall to the floor. The nipple torment lasted just long enough before Anna reached down and grabbed the knife, much to Toni’s relief. Nipples erect, Anna easily took the tip of the blade and pushed it through the ring, stabbing the targeted flesh, like a fisherman with a spear. Anna’s expertise with a knife was phenomenal, not once cutting the skin. All these sensations were overwhelming for Toni. She wanted to scream in protest, at odds with her mind, trying to process Anna’s absolute command of the situation, as if she’d been in the life before. Toni was beginning to lose control, wanting to reach up and grab Anna, wrap her own arms around her like a vice grip and kiss her violently. She was glad she had the collar as it was the one thing that regulated her behavior.
Sensing Toni’s anxiousness, Anna placed the knife on the desk and began kissing Toni passionately. Anna took Toni’s arms and placed them around her waist and for a brief moment time seemed to stop as Toni was given a rare opportunity to hold Anna so close and feel her warmth, listening to her heart beat louder. Anna pulled away just enough to reach for the key to the collar. Once the collar was unlocked, Toni stood up from the chair and pulled Anna back, kissing her with such force as if she was the last person on earth. She couldn’t contain the energy coercing through her veins. The bed was only a short walk away so she manhandled Anna and pushed her towards the bed. Toni shoved the toy bag on the floor and anything else that was in her way and pinned Anna down. Resting her arms to the side of her, she looked in Anna’s eyes then paused, stopping herself long enough to be certain Anna wouldn’t object. She began tugging on her shirt, trying to remove it but without success. Anna stopped her hand from continuing and shook her head, no. And what seemed like seconds later, Anna reached up and grabbed Toni’s shorts, unzipped them and pulled them off with ease, fingers easily sliding in Toni’s cunt, inviting. In and out, she found that tender spot. She grasped Toni’s clit, rubbing it between her fingers, little by little, then faster. And then it happened, that rare euphoria that occurs when primal passions overtake your very soul. Anna’s lips expertly kissing hers, roughly, biting, arousing a desire deep within. Toni submitted to the intrusion willingly, her body awakening an uncontrollable need to be taken, unlike anything she experienced before. Toni collapsed on the bed, overpowered by the sudden ecstasy of what had been building over the past hour. And upon her climax, she screamed a guttural roar, tears of joy running down her face like a water fountain. The sexual release was like a cleansing, she felt free and all the past heartbreaks and bad experiences that had been invading her life melted away.
She was exhausted. Feeling the weight of Anna on her was so amazing it was undefinable. They stayed that way on the bed for a while, no words were said. Anna then sat up and removed her top and t-shirt as Toni watched quietly. She reached for Anna’s shorts, unbuttoned them and slid them off. Everything was in slow motion as if you were watching instant replay at a football game. Anna moved in closer. Toni kissed her above the belly button while she clumsily slid off Anna’s boxers, the scent of her intoxicating. Toni slowly moved down to the top of her mound, the course hair tickling her nose. Eagerly, she then laid Anna down gently on the bed. She tenderly kissed Anna, starting from her lips, to her breasts, and down to her legs, making sure that every part of her wasn’t neglected. When she was satisfied Toni lay on top of her and moved her body up and down to ensure her own wetness coupled with Anna’s. She then spread Anna’s legs apart, knees up to make room slowly pulling the folds open, and able to fit the tip of her tongue inside the lush garden, dripping like dew. Hungrily lapping up every ounce of her, sucking wildly, finding her clit, tugging, feeling it grow inside her mouth. She had waited so long for this moment. She could hear Anna’s moans unrestrained, building, her breathing quicken, keeping pace with Toni, grasping tightly. Together they rode the wave of arousal until Anna climaxed. She stayed for a while in that position to absorb the heavenly scent; and then kissed her as she rested her whole body on top of Anna’s keeping her warm to minimize the slight shiver as goose bumps began to form. Toni looked in her eyes and captured a tear that began to fall.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes, it’s been a long time since I’ve been able to let go.”
They stayed like that both thoroughly exhausted. Toni pulled the covers over them. Anna grabbed Toni’s hands underneath and held them tightly. She took a deep breath and in her quiet voice said, “The next time, I’m leaving the collar on longer.”
