Reflections of a Life Well-Lived

As I count down the two days left until my 60th birthday on April 7th, I'm reminded of how far I've come.

It's been a rough 60 years for sure, given my broken relationship with my parents when I left home at 20. Interestingly now, I can look on that as positive, as I was able to re-create my own identity as a gay woman rather than pertending to be straight to appease my family. Coming out was such a remarkable realization, trying to understand what it means to love someone of the same sex. Funny, though, as I did not have many issues with dating men, but for some reason, once I fell in love with a woman, I knew then, something was definitely different about me. 

Through the next couple of decades I spent my time exploring myself, what made me tick, what things I enjoyed, what I hoped to become, what I desired, what was important, what were my core values and finally, what does it mean to truly be happy. I'm still trying to work out the happiness part as I think this is a state of mind that you flow in and out of as life can drop you a curve ball, causing one to go off course, so to speak. The Goddess knows exactly how many times I drifted into situations, I probably should have never gotten myself into, but that's life. I chose long ago, I was going to live life not just be a passerby.

Every now and then I think about my jaunt into leather, bdsm, alternative lifestyles and the beautiful and unique people and arrangements I gravitated towards in that non-traditional world. I remember reading erotica and wanting to explore it, not just read about it and my first experience I had was with a dominatrix I met through the personal ads. I placed one in a magazine called Windy City Times. It's no longer around but it was also a great resource when I came out. At that time, I was fortunate that Chicago had multiple lesbian bars where these days, not so many. The north side was the place to go for sure. 

Some of my best memories were playing softball in a gay league, which was fabulous, as I met great people who have remained close to me even now at age 60. The bonds formed have stayed with me through the years which was lucky indeed as many become my new family, or as we would say "chosen family." It's hard to believe so many women I met in my 20s are still in my life now. It has certainly made a difference in my life since I am still trying to find the "ONE". For some reason, relationships and I don't get along. I laugh when I think about this, but with complexity comes smaller circles of available people in the dating pool. I can't complain, I did have some long-term relationships, but nothing significant to this day or anyone who has lasted. I am hopeful, though, that I will meet that certain someone, but in the meantime, I am fortunate to have so many close friends that keep me grounded and feeling loved unconditionally, which is a biggy for me.

Bucket List? Well, I have pretty much met all of them, the most recent being a published author, and now this is twice over as I've had two books out.  I am working on my third book in the series. See the Writing Accomplishments page of this website, as it will give you further details.  I have some new fans, and today, was even more special when I went to pick up my glasses from Vision One, Kendall, who I've known through the years bought my second book and still has the first book. I had no idea that my Dr. gifted it to her. She was so thrilled today when I handed her a signed copy of my 2nd book. What else is left on my bucket list you ask? Well, I still want to ride in a hot air balloon, which means, I will need to head back to Albuquerque for that. I still have friends there, and I miss them all.

Today, I marvel at the eBook version I just put out on Amazon for my book and I'm looking forward to spending my birthday with a very special someone who I just adore. We are so connected. It's probably the best and deepest friendship I've had up-to-date. She means the world to me, and sometimes I don't think she really knows how much, although she hints that her intuition tells her so. I trust in that as she is truly gifted with a kind of second sight, few are capable of.

So, for now, life keeps getting better and better with age. I am truly a fine wine.

Love and Kisses to all my readers,

Lisa